"Twelve Oreo Effect" by MurkyThud.....

"Twelve Oreo Effect" by MurkyThud.....

We all love Oreo cookies. Don't you? I like the regular ones or the double stuff ones. I don't have a specific way to eat them, even though i am a creature of many habits. I do not dip them in milk, although most people do. I used to split the cookies apart and lick the filling off the cookie part and then eat the cookie, but seeing how i don't dip the cookie in milk it gets extremely dry using that method. So i have reverted back to eating the cookie normally, one bite at a time.

I have loved the cookies most all of my life and the substitute cookie just cannot compare. Hydrox might claim to produce a quality product but the taste and consistency of their imitation product just can't hold a candle next to the original Oreo. My Mom used to buy the Hydrox cookies for us. Seeing how we were so poor and could not afford the real deal we were always stuck trying to digest the alternative cookie. I really can't blame her because we three kids could devour an entire thing of Oreos in one afternoon. On the other hand, when she purchased the Hydrox brand, they would last for weeks on end. There was never quite the demand on the Hydrox cookie like the demand that the Oreo possessed. We used to eat several Oreo cookies and then walk around like we had been chewing tobacco. The black spit would last for hours giving us plenty of entertainment. We would play with our Hot Wheels cars and semi-trucks and act like tough truck drivers at a filthy travel stop. We would swagger around the yard spitting our "tobacco" and requesting the bathroom key. Hey what can i say? We were poor white people who happened to live in the swamps. Besides, don't knock it till ya have tried it. I think my brother still does that today but i wouldn't swear to it.

Huh? Oh you want to know what the "Twelve Oreo Effect" is? Well, i saw one of the funniest things yesterday at the expense of my little three year old daughter. She hadn't eaten much in three to four days and frankly we were getting pretty worried about her. Well, yesterday she regained her appetite and started eating again. About the middle of the afternoon she started UN-eating. She proceeded to UN-eat most of her food for the rest of the afternoon. She had distributed the refuse in several key locations throughout our home and finally Lanora got her to run into a tiled area of the house each and every time she had the urge to UN-eat. She had that lurching feeling again so she jumped up off of the couch and sprinted into the kitchen to complete the reversal process. She timed her process perfectly. As she cleared the fancy rug that headed into the kitchen area, the UN-eating process started. Her momentum carried her a step to many because her second step landed square in the middle of the newly formed product she had just spawned. Her footing was ripped from beneath her, and in an instant she landed on her tiny little buttocks. Her form was not perfect but the determination in which she fell was spectacular. It was hard not to burst out laughing although the child was suffering from many different unpleasantries at that time. Lanora cleaned her off and i got her a new shirt and redressed her. When she wasn't looking i admired the skid mark she had left while slipping across the cold hard tile. It was quite impressive.

Kalli, her older sister, later told me that the reason that Kortney was "spitting" was because earlier that day she had eaten twelve Oreo cookies instead of the more conservative five that Kalli had eaten. But of course twelve Oreos is like eating the whole bag of cookies to us adults so i can't imagine what her stomach was going through. I hate seeing my kids suffer with any type of illness (especially while i myself am sick because it really draws all the attention and pity, that i so much deserve, away from me towards them) and it pains me even more to have to clean it up. I guess that this stuff is going around but she didn't help herself with the intake of a dozen Oreos.

Spraying Lysol.....
MurkyThud~